Approaching grief as a question is a seemingly odd idea. But I learned first hand, later than I would have liked to, how much this is necessary.
I grew up watching my father not grieve. When loss came into our house, the message was clear without ever being spoken: keep the rhythm of the day, do not break, continue. I was eleven years old when I received that instruction. I spent the next three decades following it.
At 21, I lost two of the most important people in my life within the same year. And I did what I had been shown. I kept moving. I told myself that was strength.
What I did not understand then and what took me far too long to see, is that the losses do not go away simply because you do not look at them. They accumulate. They occupy a part of you that you quietly stop visiting. And over time, that part gets larger.
It took my daughter leaving for New Zealand at 15, a loss I could not outrun no matter how far I walked, that I finally had to face what I had been doing. I had not been grieving. I had been performing the absence of it.
Stay With The Question is the book that partly came out of that reckoning. I wrote it from the middle of the not knowing, not from the other side. If any part of this speaks to something you are carrying, I would love for you to be among the first to know when it launches.
Sign up for release notifications here: https://stwtq.com/book
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